12.3.2022 | Saturday

Hello Lord.  

Just writing that makes me teary for some reason. 

Last night I watched a more accurate version of the C. S. Lewis and Joy Greshem story.  It made me ache for them – yet they are no longer aching and haven’t been for years now. Surely time stopped in some form when they laid eyes on one another again.  To find a soulmate like that – other than You – is quite a beautiful thing.  

Thank you for my own beloved who I had 37 years with. In some way, I feel as though I shouldn’t stop counting the years – because his love for me continues today.  How blessed I was and am.  

I am not sure how to make sense of your ways – they seem unbearably hard for some – and quite easy for others – yet I know that the ones who have it the hardest – such as Amy Carmichael, C.S.Lewis, Colene &.Will Norton, Sherry MacKenzie, Paul Long, Elisabeth Elliott, Frances Chan – who come to mind – have done extraordinary things for you.  Do I still have a chance to make that list in my own mind?  Do I even want to be on that list?

I have always chosen the easy, pain-free, comfortable path.  Breaking my ankle has showed me just that. 

But the places You have taken me in the past year – more discovery of such a ones who have shown me a grander picture of Your ways, has been glorious.  Not that I’ve minded all those reformed men out there who have brought me along in my previous four decades – but could it be that their own focus (harpings) have helped cause much of the distress I see in the world? Could it be that they have forsaken the things that mean the most to You and chosen to split every theological hair to their own understanding and by their own presuppositions that come about from living in this present age? Of course, I sit with an opinion about this question but I can’t say for certain I know the answer … Your answer.

Dare I say I’m ready for more?  More inspiration from such a ones that spur me on to love others? The YouTube well is a bit dry these days – and perhaps it is time for me to give up on my pondering and walk my neighborhood. 

Lead on O King eternal.